I still remember the time when I used to be an ugly duckling. Add tom-boyish attitude and you would have perfect specimen of “what-to-avoid”. I was the girl who was most unnoticed person during her whole school life (well at least never got noticed for what a teenager craves for) I was a girl with-bad-temperament, tantrums, weird sense of logic and above all (anatomically too) unfiltered mind with foaming thoughts pouring from equally unfiltered mouth.
In short my teen life was devoid of any guy-attention. Now my moderately idiot self knows that it is perfectly fine to not have any attention, but my extremely idiot self then was not so wise so obviously I have spent a lot of days pondering over the thought what is wrong with me (well the answer is everythingJ) I tried to be sophisticated and my idea of being sophisticated was to be silent and listen. What started as a trick to become sophisticated proved out to be the best trick to gather information about people. I noticed while I am listening my eyes are trying (non-stop job) to make sense of speaker’ expression. Sometimes it matches and sometimes it’s a different story altogether. But did it help…to be sophisticated …to listen and gain attention? Well if I guess if knew (till date unaware) what being sophisticated includes I would have tried that but listening is not one of them.
Then come the tide of independence. I guess the positivity not only changed my personality internally but also changed my appearance externally. Little was I aware that with changed looks I would be bombarded with the attention of both the genders. Both equally pain in….well pain in everywhere in every possible existing dimension. I am still in the ocean of independence, surfing the waves but like shoreline people are tucking me back. They are like the constant reminder what I used to be and how much I have changed. And somehow all these changes have egged their desire to prove me a hypocrite.
So for all of those who are stagnant like the sea-shore, yes I have changed but the change is not because of my qualities but it is change in assertion of control. I have learned (in my hard way) to control everything from my anger to my mind (tongue included).
So all of you could either stay there or stink or you guys are free to drown your sorry selves or maybe you people should drift away with the current.